F - Funeral for a Friend
“But we’ll be reunited on a new and sunlit shore, when the
saints go marching in.”
I attended a funeral for an Ecuadorian friend recently. I’m not
going to discuss any of the details of his passing; instead, I want to
share the uniqueness of the funeral process.
As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, coastal families are fairly
tight knit and typically take care of their own business. This
couldn’t be more apparent than in the funeral process. Some of the
practices involved seem different to someone from North America, but
hopefully I can explain the why and practicality of what occurs.
First, and perhaps most eye-opening, is that bodies are not embalmed.
(It’s cost prohibitive and there isn’t a funeral home within a
hundred miles of here.) That means that the entire event happens
quickly. After making quick arrangements, the body is dressed and
prepared for an open viewing where friends and family can pay last
respects.
(FYI - The brothers and immediate family perform most of the work.
If they all happen to be working on the same job site, that project
suddenly stops until after the funeral.)
After the viewing, the brothers were the pallbearers and carried the
coffin to each of their houses for a last visit. This process took
about twenty minutes; the extended family lives within footsteps of
each other.
From there, the entire procession (family, friends and community)
followed the coffin to the local cathedral for last rites. The road
to the cathedral is the main coastal road, so the procession (200-300
of us) blocked traffic for 10-15 minutes. After that, the procession
used the same road to get to the cemetery.
(A note to visitors - our coastal road is used by
everyone: buses,
bamboo-hauling donkeys, gas trucks, people walking to work, etc. If
a group of people is blocking the road in front of you, put your car
in park and wait it out. Honking or trying to cut around the crowd
is extremely rude and selfish.)
At the cemetery, it was all
business. My friend’s body was interred and the brothers filled
the grave. Materials had been pre-arranged to pour a concrete slab
over the grave, and the brothers immediately started arranging the
rebar and concrete form while mixing and shoveling
concrete. We left before all
of the work was finished, but typically they will spend the remainder
of the day tiling and decorating the grave site.
(The concrete and finish work is
necessary to prevent the grave from being disturbed.)
Funerals are never enjoyable,
but seeing the way the family works together makes the process very
personal.
Embalming isn't done in most of the countries I've lived in (all tropical) - accepted practice is to give the last rites within 24 hours, usually reinforced by religion as well. Never easy to face the loss of a friend - sorry to hear of yours.
ReplyDeleteIt is an interesting but necessary practice, isn't it?
DeleteHi Scott - how interesting to read ... and I can see the logic and the family/community sense ... I was glad you told me about the concrete and finish work ... as that I wasn't sure about - now I understand that too. Thank you - Hilary
ReplyDeleteThe best part of living in another country is learning, being exposed, to ways of doing things unlike what we have known before. Thank you for sharing this with us. Ecuador, so much about family!
ReplyDeleteInteresting. The only deaths we were exposed to while living in Ecuador were all expats and thus all cremated with remains sent back to the US. Thanks for sharing, knowing the Ecuadorians and their family units, it was interesting to read about their customary funeral.
ReplyDeleteDonna B. McNicol|Author and Traveler
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